Why Do You Do It? Writing at it’s finest.

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As days and nights went on, as i struggled to face my emotions, as i took on new situations i didn’t know how to handle i found myself writing a lot. Like in a journal, something i could express my feelings to while keeping everything private. It has worked for me, for a long time and it even still does. But i find myself asking a lot of questions when i write. Who will answer them for me? That’s when i decided a blog could be a easier way to ask questions and receive advice, without having to face that feeling of being worried or nervous as some people are when you talk in person.

I try to post what i want to talk about as well as what i think people would be interested in reading. Because if you are just typing to type chances are people won’t read it. I’ve always loved writing, i’ve always loved typing away on my laptop but writing just for yourself isn’t always pleasing. Blogging has allowed me to be able to express myself and enjoy writing more than ever.

There are a lot of people who will never see the deepness in what someone writes, the emotion behind it. It’s not always easy for some people to understand how others express themselves. I love reading people blogs, especially the ones i can relate to. So if you are struggling to write, think of things people can relate to. Or dig deep to find that emotion and write about it. Some one will appreciate it! We all have different experiences and if we actually listen to one another it’s amazing to see the world from a different perspective.

It definitely is scary to jump into something new, i didn’t think i’d have any followers or any people even looking at my blogs, let alone reading them. And even though i only have a couple followers and i only get a few views it makes me so happy to know that people are interested in what i have to say. I hope if you are wanting to start a blog, you do it. I hope that you read this and it gives you the courage to start whatever it is you’ve been putting off. Life is to short to sit in fear of failure. Take that first step, i promise you won’t regret it!

A Pregnant Forth of July!

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As the Fourth of July approaches, i hope everyone in this nation knows and appreciates what the fourth stands for. I hope you are all spending it with loved ones and enjoying the freedom we all have.

I would like to give some tips and tricks for some mommas for the fourth! I unfortunately, was eight months pregnant when the Fourth rolled around last year. We were at a little local festival, and i had my baby sister with me letting her enjoy the games and rides. It was a struggle, haha. It was very hot and i was walking all over the place. But i had fun, and even though it wasn’t completely comfortable the whole time i’m so glad i went! So to all my pregnant mommas, don’t count yourself out! Go and have fun! But make sure you are prepared for the many things that will try to make you uncomfortable.

Make sure you wear something comfortable and something that isn’t to hot. Because walking around super pregnant in the dead of the heat is no fun.
Make sure you have comfortable shoes, and even if you don’t plan to be walking around being pregnant and having comfortable shoes on anyway is a must.
Wear your hair up, or wear a hat! It’s so hot in July, and it’s better to be comfortable as possible.
Stay hydrated, this one is very important. Being pregnant, you must drink plenty water. Even if you’re not outside. So make sure you and baby are cool and hydrated!
Bring snacks or have money for food. You never wanna be stuck somewhere and pregnant hungry, it’s not good for anyone. Haha.
Bring chairs or make sure you have somewhere to sit!
And always be considerate of where you are, because the loud sounds of fireworks or music can damage babies ears even in the womb.

There’s probably plenty more tips or tricks, but these were just some i learned from my own experience. And either way it’s always good to be prepared when you go out. You can never be to prepared when pregnant or with babies. There’s nothing you won’t need, haha.

I hope everyone enjoys their 4th, and stays safe!

My Pregnancy Symptoms? How well do you know your body?

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So ever since i found out i was pregnant, girls have come to me asking me how i knew i was pregnant and what todo to find out if you are. I’ve had a lot of people message me, with their pregnancy scares and weird symptoms they’ve experienced wanting to know if it could be pregnancy or not. I even had one young lady message me and ask me how to get pregnant.. Yes. I know. Unfortunately she got no reply.

I’ve never been one to judge or spread rumors. So i think i was someone that people felt they could trust with questions like that, which was cool. But it really showed me how so many young women, know little to nothing about their bodies. Or how our cycles work. Now, given everyone is different and we won’t all experience the same things with our bodies but i think understanding the possibilities is something we should all do.

When i found out i was pregnant, it wasn’t from me experiencing any symptoms or noticing anything different. It was because i knew that my period was a day late, and decided to take a test. A lot of my symptoms didn’t come a long until later. But like i said it’s different for everyone! So just knowing the simple early pregnancy symptoms could potentially help you or someone you know.

One of the biggest symptoms i experienced and is very common, is morning sickness. I was sick all day, every day. I lost so much weight and it couldn’t eat anything. It was honestly pretty awful. And then because i was so sick all the time, i was so tired. My body was so weak and tired. That’s where i would say fatigue, was my next noticeable symptom which is also a very common one. Followed by fatigue i got pretty bad headaches which can be another symptom, but i wear contacts and glasses so it could have been from those. I just remember having bad headaches all day. Another very common early pregnancy symptom, is sensitive breast and/or darkened areola. But, your breast can also become sore or sensitive when you are on your period. So keep that in mind.

A lot of people will say you won’t crave stuff until later on in the pregnancy but that isn’t always true. Right before i found out i was pregnant i was craving white rice and tomatoes. Which isn’t to weird for me because i love those foods, but it was pretty random. So random food cravings can be a symptom for pregnancy! Along side those weird food cravings, i had terrible heart burn. Now this only really occurred for me later on in my pregnancy but you can have heart burn in early pregnancy, so don’t count it out. And the symptom that will haunt you and irritate you for the next nine months and even after, is urinating more often. I know it’s silly, but it really is a symptom for early pregnancy!

Now there are so many more symptoms that women will experience, but i did not experience these during early pregnancy so i don’t have much to say about them. Like, spotting, constipation, bloating, etc. It really is an endless list, and it’s different for every woman. So if you feel off, and you think you may be having some of these symptoms as well as there being a chance you could be pregnant, don’t feel scared to take a pregnancy test or go to your doctor. Some woman experience symptoms right away and some don’t for weeks. And even if there’s no way you’re pregnant or are trying to get pregnant, it’s a least good to know the symptoms!

I know this wasn’t super detailed with information, so if you’re curious to know more definitely go check out some websites! “The Bump”, is a great pregnancy app/website i used through my whole pregnancy. Helping me keep track of how fast baby was growing as well as a place i could ask questions and look stuff up. Catching pregnancy early on is much better for you and baby, as well as catching anything such as a sickness, disease, etc. early. Be aware of your body and if something seems off don’t be afraid to check it out!

Schedule Or No Schedule?

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My day’s consist of 24/7 revolving around my son, when you become a parent you plan your day’s around your kids! So here is a vague description of my day to day routine with my 10 month old, that i pretty much allowed him to put together. Because it’s all on his time.

We wake up any where from 8-10 in the mornings depending on how well my son slept during the night. I always try to feed him breakfast, but some mornings he will just want to play and we end up having an early lunch instead. Some times ill give him pre-made baby food if were in a rush or i just don’t have the time to make him food. But i try to make my own baby food as much as i can.

I use a Baby Bullet and honestly i’m in love with it. It’s so awesome for letting my son try foods that wouldn’t normally be made into baby food at the store. If i’m cooking dinner and i want him to have some of whatever it is i’m cooking, it’ll take me a couple minutes to make it for him and he’s good to go. And i never have to worry about making to much because thanks to the Baby Bullet, it comes with all kinds of storing container that even have a changeable dates on them so i can keep up with how fresh the food is. It helps me keep a peace of mind as to what my son is eating, and also allowing me to have full control of constancy and amount!

After we eat, i normally just let him play. He’s at the age where he’s figured out he can get around and play, so he enjoys that and he will play hard. I separate time out of the day to get down on the floor and play with him, help him practice walking and just make sure that we have a good amount of time for just us throughout the day. Because it is very important to interact with your kids, It’s good to always have a strong bond with them. It will ultimately make having the bond between you two easier as they get older.

After a long day of playing he will take maybe two naps throughout the day depending on how busy our day is and i always try to get him out of the house, even if it’s just for five minutes. And then he gets a bath either at night, or in the morning before we start our day. It’s better at night because it makes them sleepy, but showers in the morning will have them smelling good all day haha.

Either way, i try to do everyday in a “routine” but it will change and vary each day. Shout out to the moms that do, have their babies on a schedule it can be hard to follow through every day. But also shout out to the mom’s who take the days as they come, you’re doing just as fine. Babies don’t always need that schedule, it’s good to just let them do what they do as it comes.

I think this can be hard for some moms, for the moms keeping their LOs on a schedule there’s no doubt that can be hard. And they never get the credit they deserve. And then for the mom’s who don’t follow a schedule can make you feel lazy or judge. There are so many things that mother’s do differently and it’s not fair to tell someone else the way they parent their children isn’t right. So be confident in how ever you parent, especially to all you new moms. Chances are, your gut is right. That motherly instinct will hardly ever fail you, so don’t worry what someone else says. Advice is awesome, but judgement is not tolerated.

NO, I didn’t take birth control!

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You weren’t on birth control?? Why didn’t you just take the birth control? Not taking birth control was a stupid decision.

A lot of things i often heard when i first found out i was pregnant. Not everyone will understand the reasons behind why someone makes the decisions they do, but the beauty in that, is the fact i don’t really care what you think because what i do doesn’t affect you.

Birth control is an awesome thing, and i think it should always be an option for any woman that wants it. But just because women are recommended to use it, doesn’t mean every woman wants to. And yes your doctors opinions and suggestions are super important and you should always consider them but no one knows your own body like you do. So do what is ultimately the best for you.

I started taking birth control when i was 13, because other than preventing pregnancy birth control has a lot of other benefits and can be used for many different purposes. From 13 till only a couple months ago, i have been on and off it countless times. One thing i’ve always noticed about birth control is it made me feel sick, physically i felt heavy or just not 100%. It also kept me in a bad mood, and on top of that did nothing for my periods. I’ve tried all kinds of different brands of BC, but nothing ever matched me. Because it’s hard to match that hormone level your body puts out as well as allowing or hoping your body reacts positively to the extra hormones and estrogen being put into your body every day.

Now i know a lot of girls live by birth control and that is awesome, i’m so happy that is an option for us. But i’m just not one of those people. When i found out i was pregnant never once did i wish i had been on birth control, because even with taking birth control there is still that 1% of getting pregnant. And that does and has happened to a lot of women before. If you lay down to have intercourse you have to acknowledge the fact there will aways be a chance you could get pregnant. So to lay down and do that, and sit there and think that could never happen to you is ignorant birth control or not.

Birth control isn’t always going to prevent a pregnancy, and Plan B pills don’t always work either. So it’s not smart to completely rely on that. So before you jump on someone who got pregnant and blame it on the fact they weren’t taking birth control, enlighten yourself on how often women get pregnant while on BC. Or just in general how one time can do it for you and next thing you know you’re pregnant.

Moral of this is, i hated the fact people told me i should of used birth control because i got pregnant as a teen. I hated that people knew nothing about my history with birth control, yet told me i was dumb for not using it. We live in a generation where so many people want woman to feel accepted and be able to make their own decisions. When almost all i got in response to me not using birth control, was that i was “stupid” or “immature”. Birth control, CAN be bad for some women. Birth control CAN hurt some women.

So no, BC isn’t always an option for women or maybe they don’t want it to be and that is fine!

How Do You Make Money From Home?

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The wonderful joys of being a stay at home mom, there’s so many! Although it may be hard sometimes, there’s nothing i wouldn’t trade it for. But one thing i’ve seen a lot of stay at home mom’s do, but haven’t quite figured it out myself are ways to make money online. I see a lot of mom selling things, getting paid from youtube, or even blogging!

It really is pretty cool that we live in a generation where stay at home mom’s can find ways to make some money from themselves without having to work a 9-5 and take care of a child. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum, i’ve had a job. And then i’ve been the one at home doing the housework. If i got paid for being a stay at home mom, i’d live the life. Because there’s nothing better than staying home with my son, and getting the opportunity to watch him grow every day. But i hate not always being able to have my own money. I have an awesome fiance, who helps a lot but i think everyone enjoys making their own money. And who couldn’t always use an extra income?

We always see the commercials or advertisements talking about how to make money from home, but they always seem kinda sketchy to me. I have yet to talk to anyone real, that actually makes a income at home. So my blogging today is reaching out to those stay at home moms or just people who make their income offline, how do you do it? What are good way’s to start? What is a good option for someone like me? Because i’m sure so many other’s have this same question as well.

Is it a real reality, can it be done by just anyone? Or is that false advertisement. I highly doubt i’ll get any real comments on this. But please if you have any advice, i’m all ears!

When Do I Deserve A Break?

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One of the thing’s i find myself battling a lot is my happiness. And i think this is just one of those things that come with motherhood. Almost all the time you are putting everyone else’s needs before your own, and even then very little recognize it. I’ve alway’s been pretty okay with putting people before me, because if i can help. I will. No matter who or what it is, if i can help i will.

But what makes it so much harder when it comes to your own kids and your own family, you don’t ever really get to have that time for the things you need or what todo. Because being a parent is a full time job. And i don’t think people always understand how that can take a toll on people in different ways.

For example i don’t mind the sleepless nights, i don’t mind the never ending amounts of laundry, I don’t mind the constant dirty diapers or bottles to be made, I don’t mind the cries and whines. Everything that comes with motherhood has always been pretty easy for me. But the one thing i do battle with a lot is my independence, or my happiness. Now when i say that i mean, finding time for myself. Spending that little bit of money on my children or something for the house, instead of for me. Never getting to take shower alone. Or even being able to sit in the other room for five minutes without everything failing apart.

I often wonder if this is something i have to workout on my own or if it is a problem because of the other parent in the house. I already struggle with not being able to be a normal 19 year old, but on top of that barely ever doing anything for myself.

Don’t get me wrong, i love being a mother and i would do it all over again. But i don’t know where the balance to all that is or how i would even find it. I don’t mind doing a lot of the work, i don’t mind being the main caregiver. I don’t mind being the one putting their needs or wants last or being the one everyone always needs. But is there ever a break?

Let’s say i do, find a day where i get to go the store a lone or something of that nature. I get absolute crap for it. For taking to long, for the baby being to fussy, or whatever it may be. I have yet to have a moment truly to myself. Truly peaceful and relaxing, without being made to feel guilty for it.

So to all the mommas that have been in my place, or are in my place, what did you do to help? What are you doing to help? How can i enjoy myself a little bit? Is it just me?

Bella Thorne VS Whoopi Goldberg

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Today i wanted to blog about something kinda unrelated to what my normal content is, but i’m curious to see the other opinions.

Today i read online about a celebrity, Bella Thorne and her phone getting hacked. Turns out, someone hacked her phone and found naked pictures on her phone that were meant for her boyfriend and then tried blackmailing her, threatening to post the pictures unless she sent them money. And instead of allowing this person to hold that power over her, she posted the pictures herself. And since then has gotten a lot of support for the invasion of privacy, but has also gotten a lot hate and some really unsympathetic comments.

Immediately i felt awful for her, i can only imagine how hard that must be to deal with. Especially in this generation, people will really rip you apart online.

I felt as though she was the victim, but some felt it was her fault and she shouldn’t of taken the photos in the first place. Whoopi Goldberg, made a comment basically saying that because she is a celebrity she shouldn’t have taken the picture’s in the first place and Bella really did it to herself. Bella responded saying that she can’t believe Whoopi has that mindset and it’s disgusting to think that way.

I personally think Whoopi was really in the wrong for saying what she said, what happened to Bella Thorne was a complete invasion of privacy. It doesn’t matter what Bella has on her phone, that is her private life and someone invaded that. Growing up in this generation it’s very common to send nudes, but you have to understand there can be a risk. And i’m sure she knew that, but someone broke the law, and hacked her phone then proceeded to blackmail her for money and all people are talking about is whether or not she should of taken the pictures in the first place.

Personally, it doesn’t matter what is on someone else’s phone. Someone’s own personal belongings aren’t for everyone and anyone. So no, it doesn’t even really matter what she is doing in her private time. The law was broken and her privacy was violated. She is a victim.

As for Whoopi Goldberg, i understand wanting to talk about popular current events. But you cannot state your opinion about something such as this, so carelessly. Bella’s feelings were freshly involved and there was no sympathy. She is also much older and maybe doesn’t completely understand this generation or society. But she defiantly could have disagreed with what Bella did in a better way.

I defiantly think we need more protection and more knowledge about the thing’s that hold so much of our personal information. But I am completely up for the debate, and the different opinions and views. I left out a lot of the details, feel free to check it out and let me know what your opinions are.

What do you think? Do you think Bella is a victim and Whoopi had no place saying what she did? Or do you think Whoopi was right and Bella did it to herself? Let me know in the comment section!

Balancing Motherhood With Teenage Years???

Most people use this reason as one of the excuses as to why you shouldn’t have children as such a young age. Having a child as a teen is a very difficult thing. Not only are you figuring yourself out and living your life, you are bringing a whole life in to the world as well and it’s not always easy to balance those two things. But just because it is hard doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

When i first found out i was pregnant i stopped doing “teenager” things immediately, i wasn’t hanging out with friends or going out. And some of that reason was because i was so sick. But also, when i became pregnant i got a lot of judgement. My confidence sank and i was just completely upset with myself. I wasn’t completely comfortable going out. When people first found out, i had a lot of congratulations and what not. After it settled in and everyone knew, i lost a lot of friends. I started to see the real side of people. That also really hurt me.

I started relying so much on my boyfriend i really felt like i lost my independence and what made me, me. I lived everyday waiting to go to Dr. appointments for the baby and buying clothes for the baby and eating right for the baby. Allowing my body to change and hurt for the baby. Everything about me, was no longer just about me. And once you start to realize that, you start to understand you are no longer a kid. You are an adult, with real responsibilities. Once that bond began, i no longer cared that i wasn’t living that teen life. Of course i had my bad nights where i would get sad and feel left out. But there was never a time, i felt unloved or unneeded. I never second guess my son. And then after so long in my pregnancy i got so uncomfortable i didn’t or couldn’t do anything anyway.

Right after my son was born was when it became really hard for me and my son’s father to find a good balance. Unfortunately that road was more difficult for us to follow, it had it’s bad turns and up’s and down’s. But after a lot of love, and forgiveness. A lot of compassion and understanding, we finally began to find that middle ground.

It’s hard to give up what everyone else is doing, it’s hard to sit back and accept a life style that is so drastically different from the one you know. But change is enviable, and it will always happen. It’s much easier to accept it with open arms, than trying to fight it. And when you go through something so life changing, such as, having a child. You really start to see the purpose in life. Or at least i did.

So to all my teen parent’s finding it hard to feel like a parent and a teen at the same time. There IS a balance, but it can only be found by YOU. And it’ll only happen properly when you have your priorities in place. Know that no matter what age you are, what you have and haven’t experienced, that your kid(s) should always come first. There will be days for you, but put your kids first.

There is no excuse. And yes, every parent deserves some time to themselves. I would never judge a parent for needing a little break. But take that with caution. I really hope that no matter what changes in the world, that people will stop being so hard on parent’s for wanting or needing a break for themselves. Especially teen parents.

Cold Feet? Or Low Self-esteem?

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I just started this blogging thing not to long ago, but I like everyone else blogging, I love to write. I have countless stories I have saved away, countless journals and books full of thoughts and stories. Opinions and conversations. I just, love to write.

I find I write a lot on my blog, but almost all of those stories end up in my drafts. Which is fine. Some of them might not be done, or were typed with 100% effort. So I wouldn’t post them anyway, I wouldn’t post anything I felt wasn’t 100% of my effort. I know I lack some grammatical details, and just the flow of a real writer but I still enjoy it and I like to think someone out there is enjoying it as well.

I write the most when something has just happened, or when a flush of emotions about something comes over me. I feel that is the best time to really express myself. But even then, a lot of those stories end up in my drafts.

I made this blog to help me, to be an outlet for myself. And yet I wonder if maybe I’m not comfortable enough on the page to post my true feelings for the world to see. Maybe that’s normal, but I wish that wasn’t the case.

Or maybe I love writing but I’m just not cut out for it. Everyone has their hobby maybe this just isn’t mine. Who knows.

I wish we lived in a less judgmental world. But wishing won’t do much, right.

Self-esteem is such a strong thing, confidence holds so much power. And it’s funny that even behind a screen I’m scared to always be completely vulnerable.