Most people use this reason as one of the excuses as to why you shouldn’t have children as such a young age. Having a child as a teen is a very difficult thing. Not only are you figuring yourself out and living your life, you are bringing a whole life in to the world as well and it’s not always easy to balance those two things. But just because it is hard doesn’t mean it can’t be done.
When i first found out i was pregnant i stopped doing “teenager” things immediately, i wasn’t hanging out with friends or going out. And some of that reason was because i was so sick. But also, when i became pregnant i got a lot of judgement. My confidence sank and i was just completely upset with myself. I wasn’t completely comfortable going out. When people first found out, i had a lot of congratulations and what not. After it settled in and everyone knew, i lost a lot of friends. I started to see the real side of people. That also really hurt me.
I started relying so much on my boyfriend i really felt like i lost my independence and what made me, me. I lived everyday waiting to go to Dr. appointments for the baby and buying clothes for the baby and eating right for the baby. Allowing my body to change and hurt for the baby. Everything about me, was no longer just about me. And once you start to realize that, you start to understand you are no longer a kid. You are an adult, with real responsibilities. Once that bond began, i no longer cared that i wasn’t living that teen life. Of course i had my bad nights where i would get sad and feel left out. But there was never a time, i felt unloved or unneeded. I never second guess my son. And then after so long in my pregnancy i got so uncomfortable i didn’t or couldn’t do anything anyway.
Right after my son was born was when it became really hard for me and my son’s father to find a good balance. Unfortunately that road was more difficult for us to follow, it had it’s bad turns and up’s and down’s. But after a lot of love, and forgiveness. A lot of compassion and understanding, we finally began to find that middle ground.
It’s hard to give up what everyone else is doing, it’s hard to sit back and accept a life style that is so drastically different from the one you know. But change is enviable, and it will always happen. It’s much easier to accept it with open arms, than trying to fight it. And when you go through something so life changing, such as, having a child. You really start to see the purpose in life. Or at least i did.
So to all my teen parent’s finding it hard to feel like a parent and a teen at the same time. There IS a balance, but it can only be found by YOU. And it’ll only happen properly when you have your priorities in place. Know that no matter what age you are, what you have and haven’t experienced, that your kid(s) should always come first. There will be days for you, but put your kids first.
There is no excuse. And yes, every parent deserves some time to themselves. I would never judge a parent for needing a little break. But take that with caution. I really hope that no matter what changes in the world, that people will stop being so hard on parent’s for wanting or needing a break for themselves. Especially teen parents.