Schedule Or No Schedule?

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My day’s consist of 24/7 revolving around my son, when you become a parent you plan your day’s around your kids! So here is a vague description of my day to day routine with my 10 month old, that i pretty much allowed him to put together. Because it’s all on his time.

We wake up any where from 8-10 in the mornings depending on how well my son slept during the night. I always try to feed him breakfast, but some mornings he will just want to play and we end up having an early lunch instead. Some times ill give him pre-made baby food if were in a rush or i just don’t have the time to make him food. But i try to make my own baby food as much as i can.

I use a Baby Bullet and honestly i’m in love with it. It’s so awesome for letting my son try foods that wouldn’t normally be made into baby food at the store. If i’m cooking dinner and i want him to have some of whatever it is i’m cooking, it’ll take me a couple minutes to make it for him and he’s good to go. And i never have to worry about making to much because thanks to the Baby Bullet, it comes with all kinds of storing container that even have a changeable dates on them so i can keep up with how fresh the food is. It helps me keep a peace of mind as to what my son is eating, and also allowing me to have full control of constancy and amount!

After we eat, i normally just let him play. He’s at the age where he’s figured out he can get around and play, so he enjoys that and he will play hard. I separate time out of the day to get down on the floor and play with him, help him practice walking and just make sure that we have a good amount of time for just us throughout the day. Because it is very important to interact with your kids, It’s good to always have a strong bond with them. It will ultimately make having the bond between you two easier as they get older.

After a long day of playing he will take maybe two naps throughout the day depending on how busy our day is and i always try to get him out of the house, even if it’s just for five minutes. And then he gets a bath either at night, or in the morning before we start our day. It’s better at night because it makes them sleepy, but showers in the morning will have them smelling good all day haha.

Either way, i try to do everyday in a “routine” but it will change and vary each day. Shout out to the moms that do, have their babies on a schedule it can be hard to follow through every day. But also shout out to the mom’s who take the days as they come, you’re doing just as fine. Babies don’t always need that schedule, it’s good to just let them do what they do as it comes.

I think this can be hard for some moms, for the moms keeping their LOs on a schedule there’s no doubt that can be hard. And they never get the credit they deserve. And then for the mom’s who don’t follow a schedule can make you feel lazy or judge. There are so many things that mother’s do differently and it’s not fair to tell someone else the way they parent their children isn’t right. So be confident in how ever you parent, especially to all you new moms. Chances are, your gut is right. That motherly instinct will hardly ever fail you, so don’t worry what someone else says. Advice is awesome, but judgement is not tolerated.

When Do I Deserve A Break?

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One of the thing’s i find myself battling a lot is my happiness. And i think this is just one of those things that come with motherhood. Almost all the time you are putting everyone else’s needs before your own, and even then very little recognize it. I’ve alway’s been pretty okay with putting people before me, because if i can help. I will. No matter who or what it is, if i can help i will.

But what makes it so much harder when it comes to your own kids and your own family, you don’t ever really get to have that time for the things you need or what todo. Because being a parent is a full time job. And i don’t think people always understand how that can take a toll on people in different ways.

For example i don’t mind the sleepless nights, i don’t mind the never ending amounts of laundry, I don’t mind the constant dirty diapers or bottles to be made, I don’t mind the cries and whines. Everything that comes with motherhood has always been pretty easy for me. But the one thing i do battle with a lot is my independence, or my happiness. Now when i say that i mean, finding time for myself. Spending that little bit of money on my children or something for the house, instead of for me. Never getting to take shower alone. Or even being able to sit in the other room for five minutes without everything failing apart.

I often wonder if this is something i have to workout on my own or if it is a problem because of the other parent in the house. I already struggle with not being able to be a normal 19 year old, but on top of that barely ever doing anything for myself.

Don’t get me wrong, i love being a mother and i would do it all over again. But i don’t know where the balance to all that is or how i would even find it. I don’t mind doing a lot of the work, i don’t mind being the main caregiver. I don’t mind being the one putting their needs or wants last or being the one everyone always needs. But is there ever a break?

Let’s say i do, find a day where i get to go the store a lone or something of that nature. I get absolute crap for it. For taking to long, for the baby being to fussy, or whatever it may be. I have yet to have a moment truly to myself. Truly peaceful and relaxing, without being made to feel guilty for it.

So to all the mommas that have been in my place, or are in my place, what did you do to help? What are you doing to help? How can i enjoy myself a little bit? Is it just me?

Balancing Motherhood With Teenage Years???

Most people use this reason as one of the excuses as to why you shouldn’t have children as such a young age. Having a child as a teen is a very difficult thing. Not only are you figuring yourself out and living your life, you are bringing a whole life in to the world as well and it’s not always easy to balance those two things. But just because it is hard doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

When i first found out i was pregnant i stopped doing “teenager” things immediately, i wasn’t hanging out with friends or going out. And some of that reason was because i was so sick. But also, when i became pregnant i got a lot of judgement. My confidence sank and i was just completely upset with myself. I wasn’t completely comfortable going out. When people first found out, i had a lot of congratulations and what not. After it settled in and everyone knew, i lost a lot of friends. I started to see the real side of people. That also really hurt me.

I started relying so much on my boyfriend i really felt like i lost my independence and what made me, me. I lived everyday waiting to go to Dr. appointments for the baby and buying clothes for the baby and eating right for the baby. Allowing my body to change and hurt for the baby. Everything about me, was no longer just about me. And once you start to realize that, you start to understand you are no longer a kid. You are an adult, with real responsibilities. Once that bond began, i no longer cared that i wasn’t living that teen life. Of course i had my bad nights where i would get sad and feel left out. But there was never a time, i felt unloved or unneeded. I never second guess my son. And then after so long in my pregnancy i got so uncomfortable i didn’t or couldn’t do anything anyway.

Right after my son was born was when it became really hard for me and my son’s father to find a good balance. Unfortunately that road was more difficult for us to follow, it had it’s bad turns and up’s and down’s. But after a lot of love, and forgiveness. A lot of compassion and understanding, we finally began to find that middle ground.

It’s hard to give up what everyone else is doing, it’s hard to sit back and accept a life style that is so drastically different from the one you know. But change is enviable, and it will always happen. It’s much easier to accept it with open arms, than trying to fight it. And when you go through something so life changing, such as, having a child. You really start to see the purpose in life. Or at least i did.

So to all my teen parent’s finding it hard to feel like a parent and a teen at the same time. There IS a balance, but it can only be found by YOU. And it’ll only happen properly when you have your priorities in place. Know that no matter what age you are, what you have and haven’t experienced, that your kid(s) should always come first. There will be days for you, but put your kids first.

There is no excuse. And yes, every parent deserves some time to themselves. I would never judge a parent for needing a little break. But take that with caution. I really hope that no matter what changes in the world, that people will stop being so hard on parent’s for wanting or needing a break for themselves. Especially teen parents.

Cold Feet? Or Low Self-esteem?

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I just started this blogging thing not to long ago, but I like everyone else blogging, I love to write. I have countless stories I have saved away, countless journals and books full of thoughts and stories. Opinions and conversations. I just, love to write.

I find I write a lot on my blog, but almost all of those stories end up in my drafts. Which is fine. Some of them might not be done, or were typed with 100% effort. So I wouldn’t post them anyway, I wouldn’t post anything I felt wasn’t 100% of my effort. I know I lack some grammatical details, and just the flow of a real writer but I still enjoy it and I like to think someone out there is enjoying it as well.

I write the most when something has just happened, or when a flush of emotions about something comes over me. I feel that is the best time to really express myself. But even then, a lot of those stories end up in my drafts.

I made this blog to help me, to be an outlet for myself. And yet I wonder if maybe I’m not comfortable enough on the page to post my true feelings for the world to see. Maybe that’s normal, but I wish that wasn’t the case.

Or maybe I love writing but I’m just not cut out for it. Everyone has their hobby maybe this just isn’t mine. Who knows.

I wish we lived in a less judgmental world. But wishing won’t do much, right.

Self-esteem is such a strong thing, confidence holds so much power. And it’s funny that even behind a screen I’m scared to always be completely vulnerable.